Ten Underrated Batman Villains Matt Reeves Should Consider Adding to “The Batman”

With the new Batman film, “The Batman”, already rumored to include The Riddler, The Penguin, Catwoman, and Two-Face, we wanted to highlight some lesser-known Batman villains who would fit perfectly into the new film.

1. The Parker-Mary Chapman owns many car dealerships in the Gotham suburbs, but at night she uses her impressive car stock of well priced new and used Kia’s to park on city blocks in the densely populated areas. However, to sow discord among the citizens she only parks at the end of blocks and always makes sure to not park all the way up to the start of the parking area but also not far enough in for a car to park between her car and the end. Thus, lessening the number of available spots on the block for law-abiding citizens! First Appeared in, “Batman’s Parking is Expired.”

2. The Doinkler — Tim “The Doinkler” Doinkelson went to college with Bruce Wayne and was a member of the Beta-Eta-Theta fraternity with him as well. Tim mostly gets by in life off the famed Gotham Doinkelson’s money and means well, but he’s always trying to relive “the glory days” with Bruce. His superpower is making people feel bad about saying no to his constant stream of text messages like, “Do you want to see the Goo Goo Gah Gah Dolls this weekend? They’re a Goo Goo Dolls cover band but they perform in diapers.” or “Let’s go to the lacrosse game man. State needs us in the stands!” First appeared in, “Alma Doinkler.”

3. Burger King Torturer (BKT) — Jerry “The King” Lawler, no relation, sneaks into McDonald’s late at night and substitutes drive-thru customers’ orders of quarter-pounders for whoppers. Which they don’t realize until they’re home and it’s not really worth it to turn around by that point. Also no relation to BTO, TCBY, and BTK. First appeared in, “Gotham’s Out of Happy Meals.”

4. Mr. Freeze Pop — A popsicle salesman who still hasn’t gotten over his son’s choice to enter the medical field. He takes his feelings out on the children of Gotham by driving an ice cream truck around the city but only serving his patented too cold and flavor-free freeze pops. He’s also “The Doinkler’s” dad, aka, “Daddy Doinkler”. First appeared in, “Bat-Brain Freeze.”

5. The Clogger — Vivica B. Wolf spends her days and nights ruining the flow of the sprawling packed streets of Gotham by walking in the middle of the sidewalk with no consistent speed often stopping without any warning and then just turning around cutting through a group of people and shaking her head. She also always wears wooden shoes. First appeared in, “The Clogger Always Clogs Twice.”

6. The Windmill — Johnny Turbine has despised the attention Batman has gotten since he first started doling out his unique brand of billionaire vigilante justice. So he walks around Gotham at night carrying around a giant fan in the hopes of disorienting Batman because he saw a “NOVA” special once about how windmill farms accidentally kill bats sometimes. Unfortunately, for The Windmill, the fan is too large to be powered by battery so he needs to be within 10 feet of a 240-volt outlet at all times. First appeared in, “Batman V. Windmill.”

7. The Actor — Jared Leto, an Oscar-winning actor who takes his method acting too seriously for roles that definitely do not demand it. First appeared in, “Career Suicide Squad.”

8. Round-Up — They started off as an ally to Batman, fighting alongside him against Poison Ivy, but were eventually revealed to be a villain as they were exposing Batman to carcinogenic chemicals. Generally appears alongside other villains Talc Lady and Lead Paint Dude, both of whom reveal themselves to be evil down the road, leading to the group’s nickname, “The Long Con Trio.” First appeared in, “Batman and the Green Thumb of Justice.”

9. Bartman — Bart Simpsons’ alter-ego. His biggest crime against humanity is telling people repeatedly to “Do the Bartman,” and never apologizing for trying to make that a thing. First appeared in, “The Tracy Ullman Show.”

10. Bat-Boy — Dirk Langstrom was the Bat-Boy for the Gotham Goobers, the local baseball team, until Wayne Enterprises bought the stadium’s naming rights and installed all Wayne Enterprises’ board members’ children as the bat-children. Dirk is also the son of Batman villain Man-Bat, the human-bat hybrid. So even though Batman is the world’s greatest detective he has never been able to solve the mystery of whether Dirk’s name stems from him being a former bat-boy or from being Man-Bat’s boy, or a combo, or maybe he just liked the name. Bat-Boy is an enigma. First appeared in, “Batters Up and Batman’s Down.”

Bonus: Homelessness — Sure, this isn’t one person, and it’s not really a villain, and yeah, Bruce Wayne could eliminate homelessness in the city and set up many charitable programs to help at-risk youth and adults below the poverty line, but then he wouldn’t have as many cool gadgets. So.

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Michael Leonetti

Writes incredibly dumb things in the City of Philadelphia. Some of these things can be found in Weekly Humorist, Points in Case, and Little Old Lady Comedy.